FRIENDSHIP AS A SHELTERING TREE IN “WE WERE ONCE GIRLS”

 FRIENDSHIP AS A SHELTERING TREE IN “WE WERE ONCE GIRLS”

Adegoke Suliat Bamidele 

Friendship is one of life’s most powerful games when played with love, commitment, and honesty. It never goes wrong. It's a relationship we often undervalue, placing romantic connections above it. But to be truthful, romance isn’t eternal, friendship is. In fact, friendship sustains a relationship far more deeply than romance ever will. This is explicitly captured in Aiwanose Odafen’s narrative entitled “We Were Once Girls.”

From the characters of Zino and Zina, for example. No one would have predicted their journey into parenthood together. Their bond wasn’t born out of romance but out of a total understanding of each other (of their friendship, the value placed on it, and the trust they both share). Their friendship is what grounded and truly solidified their relationship.

Then there are the beautiful characters of Ego, Zina, and Eriife, (of which Ego is my favourite) who embody the messy, raw, and deeply human experience of friendship-unfiltered, unhinged, and beautifully flawed. They began as young women eager to carry on the legacy of their mothers, only to be met with the harsh reality that circumstances would not allow it. However, in the process, and in the end, they grew into one another’s sanctuary and shield.

Ego is the kind of friend whose love is fierce and whose hate is unshakable. She doesn’t pretend, her emotions are intense and unapologetically real. Letting people in or cutting them off isn’t easy for her; when she loves or hates, it’s all-consuming and unforgettable. It's hard for her to forget someone she has once loved or once hated.

Zina is simply Zina. Steady, loyal, and ever-present. Despite her own battles, she’s always there. Never forgetting her people and never neglecting them. If you truly want to catch a glimpse of the struggles public figures go through, Zina is that character. People often forget they are also humans. I love the reminder there.

Eriife is torn between ambition and conscience. Though consumed by power, she knows deep down that it can never replace the warmth of family and friendship. Power is power, but it isolates and can never fill a familial bond. There are so many other themes in this novel I’d love to explore, but friendship stands out the most for me. It's portrayed with honesty and depth, something rarely done so well. 

Likewise, the novel doesn't shy away from harsh societal issues, particularly in Nigeria. Rape is a central issue handled in a way that reflects how often it’s brushed aside. That it’s perpetuated by a religious body only highlights the deep hypocrisy within the Nigerian religious landscape. It's unsettling, but real.

For slower-paced readers, the novel might be challenging. The author chooses to tell the story through multiple points of view, which can feel repetitive or slow at times but I loved it. It felt layered and rich.